Music to Manage Madness
/I have started a playlist that I call “Music to Manage Madness”. The song “Flagpole Sitta” that I have had on high rotation is from 1997 by Seattle band Harvey Danger, from the Album “Where have All the Merrymakers Gone?”. I remembered it this morning when I felt like I absolutely could not get moving or do anything except, well, go back to bed. Sometimes a solo dance party can get things going.
The lyrics for this song speak exactly to the maelstrom of emotions moving through me. The chorus, "I’m not sick, but I’m not well” is precisely how I feel being physically healthy in quarantine, trying to manage my fear and the fears of others, while pivoting my business to sustain me and my financial health.
It’s hard for everybody right now. The other lyric, “It’s a sin to live this well” speaks to the guilt I’m fighting constantly. I can’t be in joyful gratitude for my health and my savings account if I feel guilty for having them. I have learned from Brené Brown (her Netflix show or any of her Ted Talks are great) what people who are experiencing loss have told her: they are not mad at or jealous of me for not experiencing the same loss, UNLESS THEY SEE ME NOT APPRECIATING WHAT I HAVE. They are relieved to see people expressing happiness and gratitude for the gifts the Universe has granted them. (I think this is because this is one less person they have to shake to wake up and see how precious everything truly is.)
So turn it up, rock out, and celebrate the madness! Here is the Flagpole Sitta “official” song and video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYsMjEeEg4g
I hope you will post the songs you are using to manage your moods during these challenging times. You can write about how they make you feel, tell the story of a memory they invoke, or share a video of your interpretive dance as you get down! Singing is also a great way to balance the nervous system, so maybe you can record your karaoke version of your favorite tune.
If you like the song, please donate (like I did) to the band Harvey Danger here. They have other great music available for FREE and if you enjoy it, they humbly accept donations. It’s a wonderful way to sustain the artist while negating the multinational publishing corporations.
http://www.harveydanger.com/downloads/
If you have been enjoying the writings I’m sharing, you can donate on my website to support more of them happening. Or schedule a wellness coaching session so we can create a personalized plan for your whole hearted healing (on sale now).
For readers who aren’t rockers, below are the lyrics, courtesy of AZ Lyrics (because they had the fewest trackers and ads on their website).
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/harveydanger/flagpolesitta.html
"Flagpole Sitta"
I had visions, I was in them;
I was looking into the mirror
To see a little bit clearer
The rottenness and evil in me.
Fingertips have memories
Mine can't forget the curves of your body
And when I feel a bit naughty
I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes
(but no one ever does)
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot 'cause I'm in Hell.
Been around the world and found
That only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don't even own a TV
Put me in the hospital for nerves
And then they had to commit me
You told them all I was crazy
They cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee, God damn you
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot 'cause I'm in Hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live so well
I wanna publish 'zines
And rage against machines
I wanna pierce my tongue
It doesn't hurt, it feels fine
The trivial sublime
I'd like to turn off time
And kill my mind
You kill my mind, mind
Paranoia, paranoia
Everybody's coming to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm running underground with the moles (digging holes)
Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring;
But if you're bored, then you're boring.
The agony and the irony: they're killing me (whoa).
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot 'cause I'm in Hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live this well
(one, two, three, four)
